Day Twelve - Gratitude Challenge

Today, make the effort to live life with a positive outlook. Restrain from criticizing the people around you. Dare to see the glass half full. Listen more than you speak. Give freely of yourself. Practice kindness at every

opportunity.

This is surprisingly easy for me. I work in a great dental practice, with great coworkers, where we have great patients. My kindness at work is always genuine because it's easy when you enjoy what you do, where you do it, and who you do it with.

What makes guys happy.....a womans perspective.

I took prompting from the "one guy" who reads my blog on a question he left in his comment on my support post.

"Next blog entry, I'd like to see what you women think makes us guys happy (or feel supported)."

It's sad to say, but I've never really but much thought into it. I've always thought that my husband was pretty easy to please. I feel I show my support in the ways that I take care of the home. I manage money. I do the laundry, dishes, and cleaning. I cook most of the meals. I bathe the kids most of the time. I do all of the grocery shopping, only because when he does we end up with more junk than food. He does help once in a while, but where he's been feeling like crap for about a year now, it's far and few between. Oh and did I mention I work outside of the home too, full time, and a small part time job on Saturdays? I have to say, after listing it all it seems like my plate is full. But you know, I don't hardly notice it on a day to day basis because it's the life I chose and it's just something that I have to do and I don't really mind doing it. So I feel like I support him a lot in those ways.
On the other hand, there is the marital support, or should I say emotional. My husband has had a rough couple of years and certainly has not made life easier for me, but I've stuck around and tried to encourage him. I've displayed huge amounts of tolerance, patience, and love. I get asked all the time how I do it. Again, I do it because, it's the life I chose and I just have to do it. There is something in those vows that I said nearly ten years ago, you know, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part. I took mine seriously, and that is how I show my support.

Boring!

O.k., so I have the most boring life ever. I read everyone elses blogs and there is so much going on with everyone. I'll tell you what I did this week, worked, worked, did the dishes, change a "crap" load of diapers, worked some more, worked, got a migraine (must have been the dishes that put me over). Yay for me, I have no life. Guess what I get to do this weekend? Laundry, dishes, diapers, oh yah, work again, go to the chiropractor about these dang migraines, more laundry etc. I do have one moment of escape. Our monthly Girls night!!! My one moment of sanity where I can spend an evening with other overworked moms. Yay! K, I feel better. Thanks!

Thank You.

I actually started this out as a response to some of the comments I received but I feel everyone deserves to know this as well.
Thank you all for your input. I wasn't trying to start a raucous with my latest post. Just venting I guess. Peanut is only six months old and I'm constantly getting comments on when or why or will we have another child, usually followed with "you need a boy." Maybe it's because I do work so closely with the public and being that I've worked in my current job for almost ten years I've formed closer relationships with most of our patients that they and I as well can have these candid and sometimes personal conversations. I know that a lot of my fellow working moms share in my feelings. And I don't begrudge anyone who is fortunate to stay home. I personally wouldn't mind it, but as for my children, and I'm being completely honest here, they are better off going to a daycare and starting their development early. I'm completely amazed at some of the things Punkin can do in comparison to other children her age. I certainly can't take credit for all of that. I do believe she's just naturally smart, smarter than me anyways. But what she gets from being around other children and the whole Preschool experience is far more than what I can offer. She has no access to other children other than daycare.
I know it's hard to be a stay at home mom, maternity leave was enough for me. Trying to find things for Punkin to do when I had a newborn, in the dead of winter, when we couldn't go anywhere was torture. If I had started this blog then I probably wouldv'e lost a lot of friends. I'll tell you one thing though, my house was cleaner, dinner was better, and time felt like a luxury. I almost felt guilty that my husband was at work and I was sitting at home and not doing my part. A part that I have played for nearly ten years in our marriage. It was also a decision that we made before we got married. We would do everything 50/50. But again, to each her own.
I do also feel that every mother, working inside our outside of the home, feels that she is looked down on by the opposite at one time or another. I know that I get that pitied look once in awhile, but as I'm not a SAHM I honestly don't know the other side of it so I won't speculate. Especially being in the area that we live, working moms are probably outnumbered 5 to 1. And don't get me wrong, I have many friends and family that stay at home with there children and honestly it's not like I sit there and compare my life to theirs. Just as much as they probably don't put much thought to mine.
Anyway, thanks to everyone for not taking what I said too personally as this again was a vent meant only to be that and not to offend. After all, I said it before and I'll say it again, don't we all have the same goal?

To be or not to be.....

This is not going to be one of my posts about my beautiful girls or what fun we had over the weekend. So if you came to read about sugar and spice and everything nice you'll be greatly disappointed. I'm in the mood to vent about the social pressures that I and as well other mothers may feel. Is it wrong that I don't want to pop out ten more kids just for the coveted boy. Is it wrong for me to want to give my girls opportunities that they might not otherwise receive if they had to compete with a dozen more siblings. Don't get me wrong, to each her own, but we will never be rich, we are blue collar workers. My husband will never work enough or make enough for me to be apart of the high society of stay at home moms. Not that I want to. I'm not cut from that mold, I'm a worker, I find great satisfaction in getting myself up and ready along with my kids and be to my job by 7:30 every morning. I work by a schedule, I live by routine, my kids don't know any different, and if you notice I'm not dumping them on any available babysitter on the weekends to go indulge in whatever activities they can't be apart of. My weekends are dedicated to doing what some women have a whole week to do. My mother always told me, as she was a full time working mother as well, it's the quality of the time not the quantity. I am fortunate to have a job that I only work 4 days a week to give me that one extra day to spend with my family. I may not be home all day long throughout the week but you know, I still have a house and laundry and bills and responsibilities that need to be taken care of. Dinner is always ready and more often than not home cooked by six or earlier (if my husband has enough for thought to help). I'm just tired of a select few SAHM's looking down on me because I can't or don't stay home with my children. They must assume that my children are less cared for. On the contrary, I have a wonderful, no fantastic babysitter who takes care of a slew of "unfortunate" children who's mothers also have to work and you know, I know for a fact my children are better for it. Punkin in particular, and I won't brag, knows more than most 4 year olds. She's polite, smart, well socialized and yes nearly three and by no means an angel. But I know as a SAHM, the things that she is taught in her daycare are far beyond what I would even think of. We love our daycare provider, and even though she is at home, she is also a full time working mom with two kids of her own. So back to the aforementioned having more children to "give" my husband a boy, that's completely out of the question. I most days feel completely blessed to have such wonderful children, but on some occasions, I want to shoot myself. If my husband wants a boy, and he is by no means pressuring nor wants more children, he'll have to divorce me and find himself another baby mama.
The only thing that I struggle with that I wish was different is how to split my time between my children and my marriage. I constantly have to battle with myself on should I be a good wife or mother today. It's usually the latter. But if I was to be honest, my husband is probably a little more on the needy side than helpful. I love my husband, but let's face it, he's not cut from that perfect mold either. Maybe I'm not cut from a mold, maybe I was just thrown into a blob and am slowly forming myself into a shape that will never be duplicated.
And just so that I clear this up as not to offend, I do not look down nor disrespect my fellow mothers that get to stay home. You do have a hard job, but please don't complain to me how hard it is. I respect you for your choice and would hope you could respect me for mine. After all, aren't our goals all the same, to raise happy well adjusted families no matter what?