As some of you may or may not know, Dallas and I celebrated our 10th Anniversary in June. Well, I need to be honest, and get something off my chest. We separated last month due to my husbands incessant need to drink. I was talking to my mom yesterday about how hard it is to keep things quiet without lying. We both agreed that being honest with people and myself will make things easier in the long run. She said that my post on our Anniversary made it sound like everything was just peachy. Maybe that was my way of hanging onto something we once had and hoping to have that again. I did, however, state in the last paragraph of our Anniversary post that life hasn't been easy the last few years. I'm sure it was easy to assume it was because we added children to our lives, but now you know it wasn't.
A couple weeks after our separation Dallas checked into a rehab program and seems to be doing really well. I remain cautiously optimistic but do hope for the best. I want him to be well again so that he can be the father he needs to be for his girls. I would love to keep my family together but that seems unlikely at this point. With drinking comes dishonesty among other things. I can honestly say that I think we had a pretty great marriage, with the obvious normal marriage problems, but when alcohol takes control of someone there is not much else a spouse can do. He has made some horribly disappointing choices and we would have a lot to work through to keep our marriage together. I do, however, refuse to make that decision without time to really think about the choice I need to make. I do love him and actually miss him, but I've been missing him for quite some time now. Before he left he was not the person I married and I was happy to see him go, but I can't stop thinking about how great our life could've been or could possibly be.
I'm not writing this for any reason other than to allow me to continue to blog or FB about things without worrying if I'm giving out to much info. So here it is, it's out. Now you'll know why I'm mowing the lawn, why I have to take the kids to the grocery store, and why I'm so tired all of the time. Not to say I don't have support. Of course my parents have always been willing to help, but also my brother and his girlfriend, as well as my brother and sister-in-law on Dallas' side. I absolutely would be lost if I didn't have their support, I just don't want to abuse it either.
Like I said earlier in my post, in the last paragraph of the Anniversary post, I also said that we said our vows in front of family and friends, for better or for worse. This is about as bad as it gets in my book. I still stand by my vows even if he didn't with his. I also still believe that marriage is for life...........we'll just have to see how that pans out.
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16 years ago
5 comments:
Kamee, what a heavy burden to bear! I'm so sorry. Life can throw so many challenges at you, but that is a mighty hard one! I wish you the very best!
Kamee, I can only imagine how hard things are for you right now. :( I wondered if something was up, but mostly for lack of a better bond between us, I kept my mouth shut.
I will pray for you and Dallas and the girls. I can only imagine how things are right now. I really hope that Dallas is able to turn things around, if not, he's missing on the best 3 things he's ever had. :/
Much love to you and the girls.
What a hard thing to share, but so glad you did. I hope things turn out for the best for you and your family. How precious families are! But it takes all involved to do their part. Hang in there and be strong. Take the time you need. You have a great attitude! My thoughts and prayers will be with you all.
I understand what you're going through, Kamee, though for different reasons. It's never easy, and it's usually the innocent kids that end up hurt the most. I'm so glad that you have so much support from your family. That will make this burden so much easier to bare. I will keep you in my prayers and wish you the best.
Kammee, I know how difficult this is for you. But God has promised not to give us anything more than we can handle. Sometimes we wonder if we really accepted all of these challenges. But you are a wonderful and positive person and will make it through these trials. They seem difficult at times, but I promise you that they do make you stronger. I sure hope that Dallas will wake up and realize that his family is the most important thing in life! Please call me if you need help with the girls or just need someone to talk to. I will always be here for you 801-660-9309. Single parents need breaks once in awhile. We love you and will keep you in our prayers!
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